修改作文,不只是修改语法错误My name is Xiaoyue Liu.I graduated from N Junior High school .I miss that place very much.However,I am looking forward more to the 3 wonderful years that we are going to spend at W High School.In my opinion,I

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修改作文,不只是修改语法错误My name is Xiaoyue Liu.I graduated from N Junior High school .I miss that place very much.However,I am looking forward more to the 3 wonderful years that we are going to spend at W High School.In my opinion,I

修改作文,不只是修改语法错误My name is Xiaoyue Liu.I graduated from N Junior High school .I miss that place very much.However,I am looking forward more to the 3 wonderful years that we are going to spend at W High School.In my opinion,I
修改作文,不只是修改语法错误
My name is Xiaoyue Liu.I graduated from N Junior High school .I miss that place very much.However,I am looking forward more to the 3 wonderful years that we are going to spend at W High School.In my opinion,I’m a very lucky girl,for the good friends and my dear relatives keep me as company all the time.When I meet with troubles ,they will give me hands and always on my side.Because of them,I become more extroverted.I have many hobbies.I love playing the flute and listening to music.I like painting and reading books on psycholigy.I want to be a painter when I grow up.I want to use my brush to spread happiness to many more people.

修改作文,不只是修改语法错误My name is Xiaoyue Liu.I graduated from N Junior High school .I miss that place very much.However,I am looking forward more to the 3 wonderful years that we are going to spend at W High School.In my opinion,I
帮你改了下,因为事实不了解,所以内容上还是只能在你的基础上改,你自己对照一下,我肯定不会写一些“chinglish”的句子的,绝对地道的,相信您识货!
My name is Xiaoyue Liu. I graduated from N Junior High School. Though I miss that place very much, I am even more excited about the 3 years ahead of me. I can’t help to think how wonderful it is going to be, to have my new start at W High School.
In my opinion, I’m a very lucky girl. For starters,(这里是To begin with的意思,如果你觉得不适合高一的学生,就改个普通的,看你喜好,只是老外经常这么用:)) My good friends and dear relatives always keep me company. And it’s not just that! When I meet with troubles, they will always be on my side and give me help. They also encourage me to be more open, more social – to be more extroverted perhaps. (改成这样是为了逻辑上更严谨,因为前文看不出他们把你变得外向了) That’s why I have so many hobbies: I love playing the flute and listening to music. I also like painting and reading books on psychology. I want to be a painter when I grow up. I want to use my brush to disseminate (disseminate更地道,但是还是看你喜好,spread也可以) happiness to many other people.

大体上没什么问题,大醇小疵,
不过给你几点建议:
1.3 wonderful years 前加上 next ,就更加通顺了
2.In my opinion,I’m a very lucky girl,for the good friends ...这里不要用 for,for 引导的原因是 显而易见的,就是你知我知,但是你写作时只有你自己清楚,所以改为 because 就行<...

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大体上没什么问题,大醇小疵,
不过给你几点建议:
1.3 wonderful years 前加上 next ,就更加通顺了
2.In my opinion,I’m a very lucky girl,for the good friends ...这里不要用 for,for 引导的原因是 显而易见的,就是你知我知,但是你写作时只有你自己清楚,所以改为 because 就行
3.keep me as company 中 不用加 as , 正确用法是keep sb's company
4.meet with 改为encounter ,突出 遭遇 的意思
5.give me hands 改为 give me a hand 固定搭配不用复数,后面加上 be,如下:
they will give me a hand and always be on my side

其他就没问题了

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My name is Xiaoyue Liu and I just graduated from N Junior High school where I miss very much now. However, I am really looking forward to the next 3 wonderful years that we will spend in W High School...

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My name is Xiaoyue Liu and I just graduated from N Junior High school where I miss very much now. However, I am really looking forward to the next 3 wonderful years that we will spend in W High School. I am believed that I’m truely a very lucky girl as my good friends and dear relatives keep me as company all the time.When I meet troubles ,they always give me hands.With them on my side,I become more extroverted.I have many hobbies, such as flute, music and painting and I like reading books on psycholigy very much. I want to be a painter one day when I grow up, so that I can use my brush to spread happiness to many other people.
稍作修改,添加了一些词使此段语法及语义上更连贯。
给分吧,(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……

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你的文章写得不错,基本上没有你说的“语法错误”。按照你的意思进行了润色:
My name is Xiaoyue Liu. I graduated from N Junior High School which I miss very much. However, What I am now looking forward to is the three wonderful years th...

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你的文章写得不错,基本上没有你说的“语法错误”。按照你的意思进行了润色:
My name is Xiaoyue Liu. I graduated from N Junior High School which I miss very much. However, What I am now looking forward to is the three wonderful years that we are going to spend at W High School. I think I'm a very lucky girl, for my good friends and my dear relatives accompany me all the time. Whenever I'm in trouble, they will give me a hand and they are always on my side. I become more extroverted, all thanks to them. I have many hobbies. I love playing flute and listening to music. Besides, painting and reading psychological books are also my favorite pasttime. I want to be a painter when I grow up, for I dream of using my brush to share my hapiness with more people.

收起

My name is Xiaoyue Liu.I just graduated from N Junior High school where I miss very much now. However, I am really looking forward to the next 3 wonderful years that we will spend in W High School. I...

全部展开

My name is Xiaoyue Liu.I just graduated from N Junior High school where I miss very much now. However, I am really looking forward to the next 3 wonderful years that we will spend in W High School. I am concerned I’m truely a very lucky girl as my good friends and dear relatives keep me as company all the time.When I meet troubles ,they always give me hands.With them on my side,I become more extroverted.I have many hobbies, such as flute, music and painting and I like reading books on psycholigy very much. I want to be a painter one day when I grow up to use my brush to spread happiness to many other people.
有的句子稍微改了下,流畅一点,你的短句太多,结构比较单一。
希望可以帮到你,有问题可以再找我。

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