请大家给我的托福作文打分title:whether borrowing money from a friend can harm the friendship.作文如下:Some people think that borrowing money from a friend will harm their friendship,but I don’t think so.In my opinion,friends should b

请大家给我的托福作文打分title:whether borrowing money from a friend can harm the friendship.作文如下:Some people think that borrowing money from a friend will harm their friendship,but I don’t think so.In my opinion,friends should b
请大家给我的托福作文打分
title:whether borrowing money from a friend can harm the friendship.
作文如下:
Some people think that borrowing money from a friend will harm their friendship,but I don’t think so.In my opinion,friends should believe each other,so they won’t mind lending money to their friends,and it cannot do harm to their friendship.
Friends are the people who have close connecions with each other,who like and believe each other.What’s more,people should help their friends when they are in trouble,for example,when their parents get ill seriously,and they are lack of money,it is necessary to lend money to help them.This won’t harm their friendship,on the contrary,this even can strengthen their friendship.Beacause their friends think they are their true friends,a friend in need is a friend indeed.And their friends can help them in return for their kindness.
On the other hand,some people may say that if they lend money to their friends,they may don’t return the money in time or even forget to return.So the lenders can be worried,and they think it is not proper to ask them for the monery directly.They may not believe in their friends any more and there will be a gap between friends.It is really a pity,because such rhings can be avoided if people slove the problem in a proper way.First,as friends,people should believe each other,the people who borrow money may really have some trouble and they have to do so.We should help them,and if hthey forget to return the money,we should think that they may not do it on purpose.,and we should remind them in an indirect way,for example,we can say that we are in need of money now,and ask them if they can retuan the money that they have borrowed from us.Or we can also talk with them frankly,because friends should treat each other frankly.
In conclusion,I don’t think that borrowing money from a friend will harm their friendship,people should believe in their friends,and if they can handle everything properly,thr friendship can even be strengthened.

请大家给我的托福作文打分title:whether borrowing money from a friend can harm the friendship.作文如下:Some people think that borrowing money from a friend will harm their friendship,but I don’t think so.In my opinion,friends should b
开头不要套用模版!既然是“应该相信”,后面直接说“所以不会”太过武断,是中国人思路.
全文衔接很有问题,上下句没有逻辑关系,用的连词也不够.
但是你最需要提高的是你中国人的思维,不要用强加于人的写法,try to persuade.
还有就是语言不是很到位,一来不地道,二来不书面.如总结与其用In conclusion不如用in the final analysis
这样的作文最多22-24
建议背GRE范文精选和新概念四册.
我的作文是28,所以可能批评有点激烈,但是希望你正视自己的问题,早日提高.