请大家帮我看一下这个简单的英语作文有什么错误的地方long long ago,i was a middle school student,i was walking to home from school.suddenly i saw a women in front of me,she looked at very poor,she asked me ten yuan,she told to m

请大家帮我看一下这个简单的英语作文有什么错误的地方long long ago,i was a middle school student,i was walking to home from school.suddenly i saw a women in front of me,she looked at very poor,she asked me ten yuan,she told to m
请大家帮我看一下这个简单的英语作文有什么错误的地方
long long ago,i was a middle school student,i was walking to home from school.suddenly i saw a women in front of me,she looked at very poor,she asked me ten yuan,she told to me she was very hungry.she had alreadly had meal all day.beacuse one thief to steal her all money.so i gave ten yuan to her.but after ten minutes.i saw the women asked ten yuan to other people,she still told that man,one thief to steal her all money,so i now she was a liar.
翻译：很久很久以前,我还是个中学生,我正在从学校回家,突然,我看到一个女人在我面前,她看起来很可怜,她跟我要十块钱,她说她很饿,她已经一天没吃饭了,因为一个贼偷了她所有的钱,所以我给了她十块钱,但是过了十分钟,我看到那个女人跟另外一个男人要十块钱,她仍然告诉那个男的贼偷了她所有的钱,所以我知道了她是一个骗子
大家帮我看看,我这篇文章哪里有错吗

请大家帮我看一下这个简单的英语作文有什么错误的地方long long ago,i was a middle school student,i was walking to home from school.suddenly i saw a women in front of me,she looked at very poor,she asked me ten yuan,she told to m
修改意见,仅供参考：
1、long long ago,一般指很久之前,用于此处意思不妥.建议改为：several years ago等.
2、i was walking to home from school. 应去掉to,步行回家应翻译为walk home,to是副词.
3、i was walking to home from school. suddenly i saw a woman in front of me.这两句话最好合并为一句,否则前一句就不能使用过去进行时.建议改为：i was walking home from school when i saw a woman in front of me.
4、she looked at very poor.应去掉at,look very poor看上去很穷.
5、she asked me ten yuan.me 后要加上for ask sb.for sth.向某人要某物
6、she told to me she was very hungry.to去掉,tell sb sth.不需to
7、她已经一天没吃饭了,应该译为： she hadn't had anything for a whole day.
8、贼偷光了她所有钱,应译为beacuse a thief had stolen all her all money
9、我看到那个女人跟另外一个男人要十块钱：i saw the women still asked another man for ten yuan.
10、最后一句应修改为：a thief had stolen all her all money,so i keow she was a liar.