七年级英语笑话,是新目标版的,“Go for it”不要太难,容易背的英语故事也行

七年级英语笑话,是新目标版的,“Go for it”不要太难,容易背的英语故事也行
七年级英语笑话,是新目标版的,“Go for it”不要太难,容易背的
英语故事也行

七年级英语笑话,是新目标版的,“Go for it”不要太难,容易背的英语故事也行
He Won
Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself.
Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen?
Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤.
汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事儿?
约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了.
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里.他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说.
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问.
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说.“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢.”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说.“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”
Drunk
One day,a father and his little son were going home.At this age,the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now,he asked,"What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk',dad?" "Well,my son," his father replied,"look,there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But,dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家.这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题.他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察.如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese.The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.The visitor smiled,put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother,sonny.Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap,sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子.过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里.客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生.”那小男孩说.
；）希望采纳.

The city mouse and the country mouse
Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City...

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The city mouse and the country mouse
Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city."
    The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.
    After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid."
城里老鼠和乡下老鼠
    从前,有两只老鼠,它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村,另一只住在城里。很多年以后,乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠,它说:“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是,城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说:“这东西不好吃,你的家也不好,你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢?你应该搬到城里去住,你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子,还会吃上美味佳肴,你应该到我城里的家看看。”
    乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮,好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候,听见很大的一阵响声,城里的老鼠叫喊起来:“快跑!快跑!猫来了!”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。
    过了一会儿,他们出来了。当他们出来时,乡下老鼠说:“我不喜欢住在城里,我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在,比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说,要好些。”
Long Life
A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.
Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.
Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, " he shouted. "Here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever."
"And, ladies and gentlemen," the man continued, "I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever."
Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.
One person shouted, "if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?"
Then another person cried, "Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old."
"Thank you, sir, thank you," the man replied, "I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. "
The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. "Is that true," he asked, "that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?"
“Don't ask me," the assistant said, "I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years."
长生不老
一人在集市卖药。起先他卖一美元一瓶的治感冒的药。
很多人想买药，那人的年轻助手迅速穿行于人群中，一边收钱，一边递药。
然后当围观的人多起来时，那人举起一个小瓶子。
“听着，女士们，先生们，”那人喊道，“这就是你们一直想要的药。
消除衰老的药。只吃一瓶，就会长生不老。”
“女士们，先生们，”那人接着说道，“对这种神奇的药，我不打算卖一瓶100美元。我不打算卖一瓶50美元，我也不打算卖一瓶25美元。我只打算卖一瓶10美元。想想吧，朋友们，只花10美元，你们就能长生不老。”
人群中大多数人不相信他的话。
一人喊道：“如果这药能使人长生不老，你为什么不吃？”
接着另一人叫道：“是哇，你看上去至少60岁。”
“谢谢，先生，谢谢，”那人回答，“我很高兴你这么说。我的实际年龄是329岁。”
听到他的话，人群中发出一阵笑声，但仍有几个人愿意相信他的话。其中一人当那个助手经过时问她，“他已329岁了，这是真的吗？”他问。
“别问我，”助手说，“我只为他工作了150年。”
My future isn’t a dream
As the song goes “ My future isn’t a dream .” I love the song which brings me confidence
when singing it every time . I believe that all our dreams can come true if we have courage to pursue them .When I was young my father always asked me what I would be in the future . Sometimes I found it very hard to give a certain reply . “ I want to be a doctor .” “ I want to be a teacher .” and “ I ’d like to be a scientist !” Many of these answers are perhaps very childish and ridiculous . But I never think they are far away .
How time flies! Who is able to give a definition to his future ? I know clearly that those high buildings are based on solid foundation . As a student , I should have a reasonable aim , and study hard . My goal is to enter the best university for further study after middle school . I know it’s hard work , and I ’ll come across many difficulties and frustrations . But no matter what they are , I’ll keep working on it and never give up . My teacher says there ’s only one kind of people that are truly successful : those who are brave enough to put up with hardships . Even if I won’t achieve the goal , I have no reGREts for what I have done , for I have struggled for my life .
因为歌曲是"我的未来不是梦想。" 我喜欢这首歌当我每时每刻唱起来的时候都给我自信。我相信, 我们的梦想都可能实现如果我们有勇气追求他们当年轻的时候父亲总问我在将来会变成什么样。有时我认为很难给某一回复。"我想要是医生。" "我想要是老师。" 我喜欢当科学家!" 这些答复许多或许非常幼稚和可笑。但我从未认为他们是那么遥远。
时间流逝! 谁能给定义他的未来? 我清楚地知道, 那些高的大厦是建立在坚实基础上。作为学生, 我应该有一个合理的目标, 和艰苦学习。我的目标是进入最佳的大学在中学后更努力学习。我知道这是坚苦工作, 并且我将遇到许多困难和失望。但不管怎样, 我将继续从事它而且从未将放弃。我的老师说只有一种人能真正成功: 是那些能忍耐困难的人。既使我不会达到目标, 我没有遗憾因为我做了, 为了我的生活而奋斗！
Violin Lessons
"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always asking for things and her father was not very pleased.
"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, then dancing, then swimming. Now it's the violin.
"I'll play every day, Daddy." Sarah said. "I'll try very hard.
"All right," her father said. "This is what I'll do. I'll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks. At the end of six weeks you must play something for me. If you play well, you can have more lessons. If you play badly, I will stop the lessons."
"0. K. Daddy," Sarah said. "That is fair.
He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons. The teacher was very expensive, but her father kept his promise.
The six weeks passed quickly. The time came for Sarah to play for her father.
She went to the living room and said, "I'm ready to play for you, Daddy.
"Fine, Sarah," her father said. "Begin.
She began to play. She played very badly. She made a terrible noise.
Her father had one of his friends with him, and the friend put his hands over his ears.
When Sarah finished, her father said, "Well done, Sarah. You can have more lessons."
Sarah ran happily out of the room. Her father's friend turned to him. "You've spent a lot of money, but she still plays very badly. he said.
"Well, that's true," her father said. "But since she started learning the violin I've been able to buy five apartments in this build very cheaply. In another six weeks I'll own the whole building!"
小提琴课
“爸爸，我能学拉小提琴吗？”小莎拉问她的父亲。她总是要东西，因此她爸爸很不高兴。
“你花了我很多钱，莎拉，”他说，“开始你想学骑马，然后想学跳舞，然后是游泳。现在又想学拉小提琴。”
“我会每天都拉的，爸爸，”莎拉说，“我会认真练的。”
“好吧，”她爸爸说。“下面是我要做的：我会为你付六个星期的小提琴课的钱，六个星期后你必须拉首曲子给我听。如果你拉得很好，你可以继续上小提琴课，要是你拉得很差，你就不要再学了。”
“行。爸爸，”莎拉说，“这很公平。”
他很快就找到了一个好的小提琴老师，莎拉就开始学拉提琴了。尽管学费很高，但她爸爸遵守了诺言。
六个星期很快就过去了。该莎拉拉提琴给爸爸听了。
她走进起居室说：“我准备好拉提琴给你听了。”
“好哇，莎拉，”她爸爸说。“开始吧。”
她开始拉了。她拉得很差，发出了可怕的嗓音。她爸爸身旁有位朋友，朋友用手捂着耳朵。
莎拉拉完一曲，她父亲说：“拉得好，莎拉。你可以继续学琴了。”
莎拉高兴地跑出门去。她父亲的朋友对他说：“你已经花了不少钱了，但她还是拉得很差。”
“噢，的确如此，”她爸爸说，“但自从她开始学小提琴，我就可以很便宜地买下这幢楼的五个公寓。再过六周，我就可以拥有整幢楼啦！”
这几篇都很好，希望采纳！

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The Story of the Christ Child and Christmas When Rome was a great Empire ruled by Caesar Augustus and Israel was governed by King Herod, in the village of Nazareth lived Joseph and Mary. Joseph was a ...

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The Story of the Christ Child and Christmas When Rome was a great Empire ruled by Caesar Augustus and Israel was governed by King Herod, in the village of Nazareth lived Joseph and Mary. Joseph was a carpenter and Mary was a young virgin who would become his wife. Mary told Joseph of a dream in which she was visited by an angel who told her she had been chosen to bear the Son of God and his name was to be Jesus........
参考译文：
当罗马帝国是一个伟大的奥古斯都凯撒和以色列统治被统治被希律王在拿撒勒村庄，住约瑟夫和玛丽。约瑟夫是个木匠，玛丽是一个年轻的处女谁将会成为他的妻子。玛丽说，她在其中一个是由天使是谁告诉她，她已被选定承担上帝的儿子，他的名字是耶稣约瑟访问梦想。……

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